what type of currency do they use in outer space
Fuck.I literally just threw my phone
do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
it’s called makeup
you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops
passive aggressive family members
"guess i’ll never be a grandma"
"guess i’ll never be an aunt"
"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"
stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.
according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now
reblog and see what your followers say
I’VE LITERALLY HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE
I can’t believe this is what it took to get you wonderful people to send me asks. These are all beautiful. You’re all beautiful.
Don’t be chicken, tell me :)
There are people like this
and then there are people like this
and I love both of themI GOT “cuddle and listen to the 1975 with you
"If you can just stop loving her then you never really loved her at all. Love doesn’t work that way. If you ever truly love someone, then it never goes away. It can become something else. There are all different sorts of love. It can even become hate—a thin line and all that—and, really, hate is just another kind of caring."-Blakney Francis, Someone I Used to Know (via zuiol)
i hope revving your motorcycle engine in the middle of the night made you feel better about your small penis
Damn straight there’s a Bisexual Agenda.
It’s to replace all cars with trained pterodactyls by 2025.
Bob, why are they making her count?
To make her afraid, sir.
OK, but why? What for?
For fun, sir.
Some people love to shut down people who talk about trans and intersex issues by saying that they’re “only 1% of the population” and thus can be ignored since they “aren’t statistically significant enough.”
By that logic, we can now systematically ignore:
- The entire state of Rhode Island
- Anyone who makes over $500,000 a year
- Pacific Islanders
"you’re too young to know what your sexuality is" said the straight person to a queer teenager
"he’s such a ladies’ man" said the straight person about a 6 month old baby that doesn’t know what a lady is
The cast of The Walking Dead poses for a portrait at the Getty Images Portrait Studio powered by Samsung Galaxy at Comic-Con International 2014 at Hard Rock Hotel San Diego on July 26, 2014 in San Diego, California
So I’m sure you recognize this as one of the epic moments from “The Prince of Egypt” where we see the super majestic whale as they cross through the Red Sea. However I noticed just one little issue: whale tales don’t move from side to side, they move up and down. And then it hit me, that’s not a whale. That’s not a whale. It’s a motherfucking SHARK. A BIG ASS MEGALODONIAN SHARK. WAITING IN THE WATER TO EAT THE PHARAOH’S SOLDIERS. Goddamn, Dreamworks.
Or he just stood on Misha
they pushed his knees together
i bet sam’s sitting on a chair